Your first meeting with this woman is coming up soon – and you’re terrified of this “awkward” silence. In your head, you’re already picturing true horror scenarios of you sitting across from each other in silence, awkwardly sipping your coffee…
But don’t worry, you won’t have to sink into the ground in shame this time.
Because:
(* drum roll *)
In this blog article I present you 198 interesting, funny and personal / intimate questions to get to know each other on a first date.
In another article, I have already given you some tips and ideas for good conversation topics that will make you a charming entertainer.
Here you can also find out the best getting-to-know-you questions for WhatsApp .
Check it out!
Below you will find a list of the best getting-to-know-you questions for dates so that you never run out of things to talk about.
But first we need to clarify one thing:
Why good questions are so important on a date
Of course, you want to achieve more with your questions (or her answers) when dating than just bridging awkward pauses in conversation.
After all, what good is hours of chattering like a waterfall if the conversation remains boring and superficial?
No, you want to find out when you meet if you are the “perfect match” for a relationship!
In the end, she might even fall in love with you…
To do this, you have to ask the RIGHT questions on your dates – that is, questions that are as interesting as possible and that will help you learn deeper things about the woman (and vice versa, she will learn about you as a man).
It’s not called “ getting to know you questions” for nothing…or is it?
That’s why the following conversation topics aren’t just fillers to keep your conversation flowing like clockwork.
For us men, they are a true psychological miracle weapon that serves many purposes like a “Swiss Army knife.”
What good getting-to-know-you questions achieve:
- Make the flirting conversation on the date “playful” and make the woman laugh with funny topics
- Put your counterpart into positive emotions through memories (holidays, childhood, etc.)
- trigger good answers and thereby facilitate the process of getting to know each other better
- ask personal and intimate questions to learn more about the woman
- find out if you have similar interests and would be a good fit for a relationship as a couple
- Increase mutual trust by opening up and getting to know the “hidden sides” of each other
- At the end, steer your conversation in a sexual direction – in preparation for the kiss (and also sex)
And you can achieve all of this with a few creative, interesting dating questions. Doesn’t that sound good?
Of course it does 🙂
That’s why I don’t want to keep you in suspense any longer… Let’s get started!
198 questions to get to know each other on a date
Did you greet each other cheerfully at the beginning of the date? Great!
The following small talk questions are particularly useful for breaking the initial ice when flirting:
- Did you find your way here easily? How did the trip go?
- Where did you get this beautiful necklace?
- Can you recommend something from the menu? (If you’re sitting in a restaurant or café)
- Do you have a favorite drink/dish here?
- Isn’t the weather wonderful today?
- What do you like so much about this place?
- Don’t you also find it strange at first to see each other in real life? (if you met through online dating)
- How has your day been so far? What did you do today?
- Are you as nervous as I am? (courageous confession that helps ease date anxiety )
With icebreaker questions like these, you can get off to a smooth start.
However, you shouldn’t spend too much time on these small talk topics, but rather quickly move on to the next phase!
Simple but interesting questions to get to know each other
Don’t get super deep in the conversation right away!
It’s better to ask simple standard questions about hobbies, interests and preferences to get to know the woman better on the date:
- What was your last really good concert/festival?
- What zodiac sign are you and do its characteristics apply to you?
- Do you have an Instagram account where you post regularly?
- What series are you currently watching?
- When was the last time you were positively surprised, and with what?
- Do you have pets?
- What sports do you do?
- Do you play a musical instrument?
- What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
- Where did you last go on holiday?
- Do you have siblings?
- What is your favorite movie?
- What is your typical everyday clothing style?
- Do you enjoy going to the theater? What was the last play you saw?
- Which national cuisine do you like best?
- Is there a game you are particularly good at?
- Do you have a favorite color?
- Are you skilled in crafts?
- Have you ever ridden a horse?
- Where should you go on your next vacation and why?
- Which actor do you like the most?
- What do you particularly like about your job?
- Is there a buzzword you’re using particularly often at the moment?
- What is your favorite animal?
- Do you have any unusual hobbies?
- Are you involved in volunteer work?
- Which sports do you like to watch in the stadium or on TV?
- What do you dress up as for Carnival / Halloween?
- When was the last time you went to a museum?
- How do you create the perfect weekend?
- Do you have a colleague at work with whom you get along particularly well?
- Can you knit or sew?
- What do you like to eat for breakfast?
These are all good standard conversation topics that you can use to “test each other out” at first.
Funny questions to get to know each other on a date
It is extremely important to sprinkle humor into your flirting so that your conversation doesn’t become too serious and dry with all the profound topics.
Consider creative, crazy, and funny dating questions as the necessary “pepper” that spices up the “soup” you’re stirring together with your conversation:
- Would you like to work in a chocolate factory?
- Can you wiggle your ears?
- Which of the Gummi Bears would you most likely marry?
- Do you think there is a coffee break at the tea factory at lunchtime?
- Have you ever done something forbidden?
- Can you touch the tip of your nose with your tongue?
- What was your worst fashion sin in your youth?
- Whose thoughts would you like to read and why?
- Did you play funny pranks as a child?
- What does Santa Claus do outside of the winter season?
- Do you know a good joke that really makes you laugh? Tell us!
- What is the craziest conspiracy theory you’ve heard?
- Who spends more money on shopping, men or women?
- Do you have a strange habit?
- If you could acquire a superpower, what would it be?
- How did you find out that Santa Claus doesn’t exist?
- What fun things did you play at your child’s birthday party?
- Are you a morning person?
- What year would you like to travel to if you had a time machine?
- What was the last movie that made you laugh so hard?
- What was your first computer/mobile phone? ( Joke together about outdated technology from back then! )
- What do butterflies in your stomach actually feel like when you’re in love?
- Can you sing a song? ( Then ask them to sing! )
- Have you ever had a mishap that you can laugh about today?
- Imagine you had to marry a celebrity. Who would you choose and why?
- Can frogs cry?
- What was the most embarrassing YouTube video you’ve seen recently?
- Did you ever experience funny things when you were drunk as a teenager?
- What is the funniest first or last name you have ever heard?
- Which celebrity would you like to have dinner with and why?
- What was your craziest and funniest experience this year or last year?
- How would you react in a zombie apocalypse?
If the girl is in a humorous mood, you’re sure to get some funny replies. Here, you’ll find more tips on how to make women laugh .
Oh yes: Don’t overdo it with your funny questions, otherwise you’ll turn from an attractive man into a silly clown!
Either-or questions on a date
It will be exciting to see: Which answer will she choose?
These getting-to-know-you questions can not only be fun when flirting, but also tell you a lot about their character traits, values, and attitude to life:
- Which ability would you rather have: being able to fly or being invisible?
- Beer or wine, which tastes better?
- Late riser or early bird?
- Netflix or Amazon Prime? Or Disney Plus?
- What would you rather receive as a gift from a man: roses or cactus?
- Holiday in a luxury hotel or camping with a tent?
- Cooking or baking?
- Football or handball?
- How do you spend the perfect Sunday: going for a walk in the park or going to an amusement park and riding a roller coaster?
- What’s cooler, The Simpsons or Family Guy?
- Motorcycle or bicycle?
- Apple or Samsung – who has the better phones?
- Cut spaghetti into small pieces or wrap it around a fork?
- Do you prefer city trips or a trip into the countryside?
- Read a book or watch a movie?
- What would you rather spend money on: a new smartphone or a trip?
- Where do you prefer to shop, a perfumery or a hardware store?
- Ketchup or mayo with fries?
- Clean-shaven or three-day beard?
- Shower or bath?
- When are you fitter, during the day or at night?
- Chrome or Firefox, which browser do you prefer?
- Horror film or romance film?
- To be blind or deaf?
- Black or pink, which color do you prefer in clothes?
- McDonald’s or KFC?
The best ones are either-or questions where the decision is difficult and the woman has to think a bit before answering!
Personal and intimate questions to get to know each other
Profound deep talk topics on a date help you really get to know each other better.
Based on the answers to these questions, you will know whether you are really on the same wavelength and are suitable for a relationship:
- Do you have a piece of jewelry that has special meaning for you?
- What was your relationship with your parents like? Were you more of a daddy’s girl or a mummy’s girl?
- How do you imagine your life in 10 years?
- What is one thing you absolutely want that money can’t buy?
- What was the best decision of your life?
- Have you ever lied about a big thing – and if so, why?
- What decision in your life do you regret the most?
- Is there something you really want to do again?
- Do you believe in magic?
- What do you do to motivate yourself to do something?
- What do you want your life to look like when you’re old?
- If you had to emigrate, which country would you choose?
- What successes are you particularly proud of that you have achieved?
- What would you do if you only had one day left to live?
- Which fairy tales and stories fascinated you as a child?
- Are there any characteristics about yourself that you don’t like?
- What is the meaning of your tattoo motif? ( if she has a tattoo )
- Imagine you won a million euros in the lottery. What would you do with the money?
- Which country would you definitely like to visit again and why?
- If you could travel back in time and meet your former self, what would you say to him?
- What was the last movie or series that made you cry?
- What was the last gift you were really happy about and why?
- Is there a particular motto/quote that guides you through life?
- What is your relationship with your siblings?
- Do you have any interesting photos from your last vacation or from the past on your phone that you would like to show me?
- What is something you would like to learn or improve?
- Which of your relatives do you get along with best?
- What is your greatest weakness?
- Is there a particular animal whose characteristics you admire?
- Who is your biggest role model?
- Imagine your house is on fire and you can only save three items. What would you choose?
- How did you spend Christmas as a child?
- Is there something you’ve always wanted to try but never dared to?
However , for particularly intimate, personal and emotional questions during the getting-to-know-you phase, there should already be a certain level of trust so that she can open up to you!
Philosophical questions to get to know each other
Attention, it gets a little deeper!
On a date, you can literally talk about “God and the world” to find out what the other person’s view of life is:
- Do you believe in life after death? Why (or why not)?
- Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
- What would aliens think about us humans if they were observing us?
- Do you believe in fortune telling / telepathy / ghosts?
- If God created the world, who actually created God?
- Can there be a highly advanced artificial intelligence that has a soul like a human?
- Does it actually make sense to always be happy, or do you also need bad experiences in life to be able to appreciate happiness better?
- Is humanity really an “intelligent” species if it destroys its own planet?
- Where does evil in the world come from?
- Do you believe in coincidence or fate?
- What lies beyond the universe?
- Does selfless action (altruism) even exist, or does one ultimately do everything just to satisfy one’s own ego?
- Can you be in love with two people at the same time?
- How does a blind person imagine colors if he was blind from birth and has never been able to see?
- Will there ever be a medicine that will allow us to live forever? And would that even be desirable?
- What is this light at the end of the tunnel that people with near-death experiences describe?
- Are dreams really just fantasies, as the saying goes, or is there a grain of truth in them?
- Why does modern art look so damn ugly?
- What kind of person do you think you were in a past life?
- Doesn’t everyone need social relationships or can one really be happy as a hermit?
- What will our world look like when we have perfect artificial intelligence and all work is done by robots?
- Do you know this feeling: You think of a good friend and she calls you shortly afterwards… Is this a coincidence or is there a spiritual connection?
- If God is all-powerful, can he create a house so strong that he himself cannot destroy it?
- Are children happier than adults – and shouldn’t we all be more like children again?
- Do you think there’s a parallel universe somewhere with doppelgangers of us who are also sitting at the meeting right now?
Phew…tough questions to ask when getting to know someone, I know!
You should therefore only bring up these profound topics later in your date when you notice that the woman is open to such philosophical thoughts.
But please do yourself a favor: Don’t get involved in negative conversations (for example, about death) or political or ideological debates!
Important questions to get to know each other: Relationships and friends
A long-term relationship between you only makes sense if you have similar views on love and friendship.
To get insightful answers from her, you should ask personal questions about this at some point on the first or second date :
- Have you ever been truly in love?
- Do you want to get married at some point or is it enough for you to be happy in your relationship?
- Do you believe in love at first sight?
- What was your worst date?
- Do you have a best friend? And how long have you known each other?
- Have you ever been truly disappointed in a relationship?
- Have you ever reacted with real jealousy?
- Do you want to have children later?
- What can really get you mad in a relationship?
- How do you imagine the perfect dream wedding?
- Do you think it is still possible to have contact with your ex-partner after a separation?
- Would you start a relationship with your ex again if he had really changed for the better?
- Who are your top 5 friends that you would take with you on an adventure holiday?
- Do you think friendship between a man and a woman is possible?
- Have you ever been unhappily in love?
- What do you want to do differently in a relationship than your parents?
- How do you imagine the perfect weekend with your partner?
- Do you believe in the saying: “Old love never rusts?”
- What are the three most important things a relationship must have?
- What do you pay most attention to when looking for a partner?
- What is more important in life, relationship or friendship?
- Do you believe in “love for life”?
However, avoid complaining about your ex-partners when discussing such topics. After all, you don’t want negative emotions to flare up!
“Perverse” (?) questions to get to know each other
If you are very familiar with each other and she likes you , you can gradually move on to more suggestive topics.
And no, you shouldn’t ask really “perverted” questions when dating…You don’t want to give the impression that you just want to get her into bed, do you?
In that case, you certainly won’t get any answers out of her!
Instead, subtly steer the conversation towards sexual topics:
- Do you think Spongebob and Patrick are actually gay?
- Why do women always wear such tight clothes at the gym?
- Hey, it’s either/or: do you have to go without your favorite food for the rest of your life or go without sex for 10 years?
- Isn’t it inhumane to have your pets neutered? Animals have their natural needs too, right?
- I recently read a study that found that 32% of women have had homosexual experiences. Do you think that’s a realistic number?
- Have you read “Fifty Shades of Grey”?
- Can one really live happily as a monk or nun, or is sexuality not a basic human need that must be fulfilled?
- Which celebrity would you like to sleep with?
- Where do you look first when you see an attractive man?
- Why do you see so many party photos of girls kissing?
- Who cheats more often, men or women?
- Have you ever watched a porn?
- An ex-girlfriend of mine once said that kissing was better than sex. That can’t be true, can it? What do you think?
- What things do women always carry in their purses? ( Wait and see if she says tampons or condoms! )
- What do you think about people who don’t want to have sex before marriage? Can you be happy that way?
- Have you ever had an embarrassing experience at a swimming pool?
- Do women really like six-packs?
- Would you accept an “immoral offer” for ten million euros?
If you do it cleverly, the woman will have to think about sex – maybe even with you!
Top 5 tips for getting-to-know-you questions
Okay, now you’ve got a lot of creative ideas about what questions you can ask to get to know the woman better.
But I don’t want to let you go without giving you the 5 most important tips and rules:
1. Please do not complete a “questionnaire”
Even though I gave you a list of interesting questions to get to know each other above:
Never approach your conversation on a date as if you were simply going through a “questionnaire” and “collecting” answers.
This isn’t flirting, it’s just uncomfortable!
Instead, your conversation should have a natural flow and never feel like a job interview or interview.
You can achieve this through two things:
First, you don’t just ask questions, you let them ask them too.
Second, you insert your question “quite randomly” to fit the current topic of conversation.
This can then go something like this:
She: “I also like listening to rock music, I have all the Red Hot Chili Peppers albums!”
You: “Oh cool, when and where was the last time you went to a festival?”
Does it all sound difficult and complicated? Not at all!
In this blog article, I’ll give you more tips on how to learn how to flirt properly .
2. Questions on a date – the right order
Of course, you don’t come right out with your getting-to-know-you questions.
For example, if you ask immediately after greeting her about her childhood or whether she has ever had sex with another woman, you will receive some rather skeptical looks.
No, you have to proceed slowly in the conversation, step by step!
The Lord of the Rings doesn’t start with the evil ring being thrown into the volcano in Mordor in the first scene, does it?
So take your counterpart on an emotional “journey” – from light small talk at the beginning to the really deep, personal and intimate questions when dating!
3. Consider your own answers to the questions
For every question you want to ask the woman on your date, you should think of a damn good answer yourself.
Because your counterpart will also ask counter questions and want to know what you think about important topics.
Your dialogue should NOT proceed as follows:
- You: “What dreams do you still want to fulfill in life?”
- She: “I want to visit the Himalayas one day, finally get my motorcycle license, and one day find the man of my dreams… And you???”
- You: “Uhhhh…” ( tick tock tick tock tick tock… )
Believe me, this silence will be really uncomfortable.
Besides, the woman should get to know you better while dating so that she knows what type of man you are.
And falling in love with your personality – that only happens if you can provide a meaningful answer to every question!
4. Don’t ask closed questions?
There are flirting experts who advise you not to ask “closed questions” when talking to a woman to get to know her.
By this I mean questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”:
“Do you like raspberry ice cream?” – “No!”
Or the famous either-or questions:
“What would you rather have as a pet: a German Shepherd or a goldfish?”
How flirt gurus justify their negative attitude towards this: With such questions, the conversation ends quickly because the lady’s answers are rather short.
In my opinion, this is too simplistic.
Firstly, many people are overwhelmed when you ask them open questions like “What is the meaning of life for you?”
Simple questions on a date are much more welcome to help you relax during the conversation.
In any case, you should NEVER be satisfied with the first answer, but rather delve deeper into the topic with W-questions (see next point!).
5. Use the power of W-questions
For many men, the conversation quickly comes to a standstill because they don’t follow up, but rather leave it at the first answer that comes to mind.
To deepen conversations on dates, always follow up with a W-question, for example:
- You: “What is your favorite Disney movie?”
- She: “Aladdin, great movie!”
- You: “WHY Aladdin? WHAT do you like about it?”
- She: “I like the culture portrayed in the film, and as a child, I always wanted a lamp like that, one that could grant any wish… blah blah blah…”
You see, with a “why ” question you can get a lot more answers out of her – even if she is a little short-tempered when speaking!
Awkward silences are now finally off the table as an issue at your meetings.
