The weekend is just around the corner and it’s time for you to head to the disco: great music, a good atmosphere and beautiful women as far as the eye can see.
At first glance, this sounds like the ideal setting for meeting women. But most men simply don’t know how to flirt in a club .
For a long time, I was one of them too – I simply didn’t have the courage or didn’t know how to approach the women on the dance floor.
After all, I didn’t want to embarrass myself and get rejected in front of the whole team.
Uncertain, I stood at the bar with my drink or somewhere at the edge of the dance floor and watched the spectacle from a safe distance instead of approaching hot women myself.
Today I know that my fear was completely unfounded and that you only need to follow a few simple rules and tips to be successful when flirting in clubs.
Flirting in the club for beginners
Are you tired of watching other guys have success with the ladies? Maybe even take them home at the end of the night, while you come away empty-handed?
In this article, I’ll give you the tips and tricks you need to successfully approach women in a club and no longer have to walk home alone with a long face.
If you follow the points in my plan, you can overcome your shyness and finally take advantage of the countless opportunities that a disco offers you.
“Why didn’t I dare again? There were so many beautiful women there!”
These thoughts will soon be a thing of the past for you! So let’s get started right away!
Approaching women in the club: The 10-step plan
I won’t beat around the bush, but get straight to the point. If you play it right, a disco is one of the best places ever to meet girls! You also have a great chance of finding a thrilling one-night stand here .
However, there are a few things to keep in mind if you want to start a conversation with women in a club.
- “What should I say to the women?”
- “What should I wear?”
- “I can’t dance at all!”
- “Isn’t the competition much too great?”
These doubts probably sound familiar to you? We’ll now walk you through step by step how to properly approach women in a club.
If you stick to the plan I’m giving you now, you won’t have to worry about all the opportunities you missed.
1. Get the right styling!
Let me say one thing in advance: looks, clothing and styling are certainly not everything if a man wants to approach and conquer women in a club.
But let’s not kid ourselves: what you eat is what you see.
My tip is therefore: try to get the best out of your type.
This includes the right clothes and a well-groomed appearance.
You shouldn’t “dress up”; ultimately, you should feel comfortable. It’s important to figure out which outfit appeals to the ladies and suits you at the same time.
Of course, how you should dress depends to some extent on the club, but there are a few basic rules:
- Do your clothes color coordinate?
- Do your shoes match your belt?
- Does your shirt fit right and your pants the right length?
- Are your clothes freshly washed and wrinkle-free?
There’s a lot to say about the topic of outfits for men, which would go beyond the scope of this article. However, I have an entire article on my blog about outfits for dates , where you can read exactly what’s important.
In addition to your clothes, you should also pay attention to your appearance. Go to the barber and get a proper haircut and a neat trim of your beard.
Of course, also pay attention to personal hygiene: clear skin, clean, trimmed fingernails – these are details that women notice in a man.
To top it all off, apply a nice-smelling perfume (but please not too much 😉 ).
Another great tip: If you’re unsure about your styling and outfit, ask a woman for advice! This could be a good friend or even a trusted salesperson or hairdresser.
2. Get in the mood before you go to the club!
If you want to successfully approach women in a club, the way you come across to them is crucial. A positive charisma is key.
Think about it: why do people go to the city’s clubs on the weekend? Because they want to have fun and have a great time.
Of course, it’s counterproductive if you crouch in a corner of the dance floor with a face like you’ve been through three days of rain.
The key is to get yourself in the mood and party spirit before you even arrive at the disco.
How do you do this? It’s very simple:
- Put on some music at home that gets you in the mood and get a little drunk (the emphasis is on “a little” – you don’t want to arrive at the club drunk, of course!).
- Make a little small talk with the people in line at the entrance or with the doorman to overcome any fear of approaching people and make initial contact.
So get yourself in a positive mood BEFOREHAND!
Otherwise, it might be difficult to suddenly “call up” your good mood when you want to approach a woman in a club and win her over. This is especially important if you’re partying alone and don’t have any friends around to cheer you up.
3. Please drink alcohol only in moderation!
Alcohol lifts our spirits, makes us bolder on the dance floor, lowers our shame threshold, and often makes us see things more relaxed. BUT too much alcohol can really ruin your trip.
Whether you’re pre-partying at home or later in the evening at the club: know your limits!
It’s a huge turn-off if you stagger toward women slurring your words and feeling a bit silly! You may be more relaxed, but it’s definitely not going to lead to success.
Feel free to treat yourself to a couple of beers or a drink or two, but make sure you don’t overdo it and that you remain completely clear-headed at all times.
Otherwise, you can forget about successfully approaching a woman in a club.
4. Shake your feet and have fun!
Most men dread this. They ask themselves in fear:
“Do I really have to dance in the club?”
Well, that’s the thing… Of course, you shouldn’t make a fool of yourself in front of women and jump around like a clown. But you don’t want to be labeled a bore by the party girls either, do you?
I often see men in clubs make the same mistake: They go straight to the bar, order a drink, and then stay there (or somewhere in a corner) for the rest of the evening.
My tip: Just let go! Venture out onto the dance floor and relax. Even if it’s just for a few minutes!
By daring to do something and not standing on the sidelines gawking like most guys, you show women that you’re fun to be with and that you don’t take yourself too seriously! This piques the ladies’ interest!
You absolutely don’t have to be a professional dancer or perform a “Dirty Dancing”-style choreography. Just relax and shake your hips a little!
5. The best places in the club to approach women
Let’s go a step further – after you’ve dressed up, got in the mood and danced a little, you’ll naturally want to meet women in the club and have a conversation with one of them.
But where is the best place? In the middle of the dance floor, where the music is loudest and the bass booms, you’d practically have to shout at each other.
The quieter areas of the disco are more suitable , such as:
- The chill-out area
- The Bar
- The smoking/outdoor area
- The wardrobe
During the course of the evening, all women go to check their makeup in the mirror, have a smoke, get some fresh air or simply relax their feet for a moment.
And that’s the moment when you seize the opportunity and approach her!
6. Dare to approach women in the club!
Have you heard that you should wait until your eyes meet and she smiles at you? Maybe your eye contact should even last at least five seconds?
Two words about this old rule: FORGET IT!
There’s so much going on at a party: women dancing, chatting, and laughing with their friends, the music is loud, the lights flashing…
It would be quite a coincidence if her attention suddenly turned to you.
Better you take action yourself!
Don’t wait for the romantic glance like in a Hollywood movie, but gather your courage and approach her to give your success a boost!
7. Follow the three-second rule when hitting on someone!
This rule states that you should approach a woman within the first three seconds. Why? Quite simple:
The longer you wait, the more time your brain has to find reasons why you shouldn’t approach the woman.
Within three seconds, your little brain is no longer able to give you excuses or get worked up about the fear of approaching someone.
- “What if I make a complete fool of myself?”
- “She’s way too good-looking and she’ll never be interested in me!”
- “What if her friends laugh at me?”
Such thoughts block us men if we don’t approach the lady IMMEDIATELY and talk to her.
If you want to learn more about how to overcome your fear of approaching people and need a tip or two, I have a separate article for you in which I go into this topic in depth.
8. Approaching women in a club – the right way to start a conversation
So, you’ve gathered your courage, approached the woman with your heart rate slightly racing, and… Now what? What should you say when you approach a woman in a nightclub?
I ask you, in your own interest, to refrain from using crude pick-up lines :
- “Is it hot in here, or is it you?” or “Heaven called – they’re missing an angel.”
Unfortunately, apart from an eye roll, you won’t achieve much with this, even though such funny flirting lines can be very entertaining.
You should also avoid boring and uncreative questions :
- “Do you know where the smoking area is?”
Their answer will probably be rather brief: “That way.” – that won’t do you any good.
Likewise, direct compliments like:
- “Wow, you can dance really well!” or “Your dress looks super hot!”
Especially if the woman is on the dance floor, you won’t get much more than a “thank you” out of her with such statements.
But what should you say instead?
How can you easily approach women in a disco?
It’s best to choose a funny and positive way to start the conversation instead of asking her something boring or using a lame pick-up line.
- “I just need your opinion: Nutella bread with or without butter?”
This throws the woman off track and provides a humorous way to start the conversation.
- “Tell me – what’s the stupidest pick-up line you’ve heard today?”
You show empathy and sensitivity and basically take her side by “gossiping” with her a little.
- “Sorry, I just need your opinion: Who is more bitchy, men or women?”
The good old battle of the sexes – hardly any woman can resist taking a stand and you’re already in a lively discussion.
In general, the following applies: Be personable, approach her with a smile, create a positive atmosphere, and be creative. As the conversation continues, don’t be a killjoy; instead, make the woman laugh with the right flirting techniques from a professional.
9. How to approach women in groups
Let’s not kid ourselves – in most cases you will be lucky enough to find an attractive woman standing around somewhere all alone, practically waiting for you to approach her.
After all, life isn’t a cheesy Hollywood movie.
Most of the time the woman will be part of a group.
Either she is out and about with her friends or there are even men in her “pack”.
Let’s hope that her male companions are just good friends.
In these cases, direct contact is virtually impossible. There are several reasons for this:
- If there are men in the group, they will perceive you as a kind of “intruder” and “protect” their girls
- Women also protect each other and keep pushy men away from each other
- Your sudden “intrusion” into the group may cause resentment, envy among the other girls or mistrust in general, because nobody knows your intentions
So how can you go about getting to know the woman you’re interested in? There’s a simple trick:
Become part of the group!
“What? I can’t just join a group?!” you ask.
Yes, you can, actually. Instead of focusing on “the woman of your desire,” you first address the group or other people in the group.
You ask them for their opinion, start a funny conversation and thus initially symbolize that they can trust you and that you are not a “troublemaker”.
Then you can find out how people know each other and thus gradually approach the lady who really interests you.
After a while, you can turn to her specifically and start flirting with her. It’s best to separate her from the group at a convenient moment so you can be with her undisturbed.
“Guys, I’m going to borrow Lea for a minute. We’re going to the bar for a drink.”
And? Not difficult at all, is it? This simple plan almost always works!
10. What if I get rejected?
So what? Is rejection the end of the world? Probably not.
Of course, you won’t be successful with every woman, no matter how skillful you are. That’s perfectly okay—that’s life.
Take it easy and relaxed and accept it for what it is: an experience.
Maybe she has a partner, isn’t looking, or you’re just not her type. Her rejection could also be a little shit test . Or she’s having a bad day… The list of possible reasons is long.
The important thing is that you don’t let this intimidate you!
As crude as it may sound, just try it with the next woman. Maybe she’ll be in a better mood and open to a fun conversation.
Want to learn more about how to flirt as a man and need tips that really work? Then check out this article. You’ll find 8 super helpful ideas.
