You’re probably familiar with the following situation: You’re out shopping in town and you see a pretty woman. She walks past you with graceful strides, and you think to yourself:
“Oh man, I’d love to meet her!”
But what do we men do in most cases? Nothing.
We guys simply let countless opportunities pass us by when we want to approach great women on the street.
But why is that? Why can’t we put our thoughts into action? What are we afraid of?
I know this problem only too well from my own experience!
On the one hand, I used to feel exactly the same way. On the other hand, I regularly coach men in my coaching sessions who come to me to overcome precisely this fear of approaching people.
But don’t worry, I’ll help you – with my many years of knowledge as a flirting expert!
In this article, I’ll give you the ultimate tips and tricks for approaching women on the street.
This way, you can overcome your shyness, approach interesting women with a smile, and have great conversations with them. You might even end up getting a cell phone number or two to arrange a date!
The fear of speaking in everyday life
It could be so simple:
You see a beautiful woman, she smiles at you. Then you walk over to her, talk to her, have a lively conversation for a few minutes, exchange cell phone numbers, and arrange a date…
Nonsense!
In my years of experience as a coach, I have learned one thing:
Approaching women on the street scares some men more than any visit to the dentist!
When it comes to this kind of flirting, even the seemingly coolest guys usually get weak at the knees.
They become shy and embarrassed. The female sex suddenly seems to them like a frightening alien species that would surely devour them alive if they tried to make any kind of contact.
he elite soldier in close contact
A little anecdote that I would like to share at this point to illustrate the problem: A few years ago, I had a coaching session in the pedestrian zone with a real elite soldier.
The man was battle-hardened, having served in various war zones.
But when it came to approaching a woman on the street at lunchtime, I had the feeling that he would rather have shot himself in both feet than approached “the enemy.”
Approaching women is comparatively safe!
What is the worst that can happen here?
Quite simply: getting rejected . That’s it. Nothing more. And there are definitely far worse things in life, aren’t there?
Rationally speaking, everyone will probably agree with me, but sometimes there’s a “chasm of fear” between theory and practice. Approaching strange women on the street is a virtually insurmountable obstacle for many men.
Out of fear we think of the worst things:
- “I don’t have a chance with her anyway, she’s in a different league!”
- “I’m going to embarrass myself to the core and make a fool of myself!”
- “She’ll laugh at me or punch me!”
- “The other passersby will notice and think I’m a freak!”
- “I’ll blush, stammer, stutter, and say some bullshit.”
- “Such an attractive woman already has a boyfriend.”
Our negative beliefs try to convince us that we (supposedly) won’t succeed. Our inner demons want to “warn” us with such thoughts so we don’t walk into a trap.
BUT: Women (usually) don’t bite
You may hardly believe it, but the majority of women react really positively when you approach them on the street.
They feel flattered. And even if they’re not interested, in 90% of cases they convey that politely and with a smile.
I’ve tried quite a few approaches myself, some of them quite harsh, and yet I haven’t gotten a slap in the face yet.
The horrors in our minds usually remain just that—imagination. Reality looks completely different and much less frightening. I can promise you that!
Many female singles are open to flirting!
My experience as a long-time dating coach is that women generally want to be approached —at least most of them. They’re generally not averse to being approached on the street, as long as they’re in a relaxed mood, the environment isn’t too hectic, and the man is polite.
Of course, for the vast majority of girls, this is unusual these days.
But many single women dream of meeting their partner purely by chance in everyday life, rather than, for example, in a disco or on an online dating app like Tinder or Bumble.
What could be nicer for the lady later than to rub it in her best friend’s face (who picked up her guy on Tinder) that her sweetheart approached her romantically in the rain at the bus stop?
Learning how to approach women on the street also has several advantages:
- You can do it anytime, unlike flirting in a disco .
- There is virtually no competition because hardly any men do it anymore (unlike, for example, in clubs and bars with a surplus of men).
- In places like pedestrian zones you will also meet older ladies who do not do online dating and do NOT go out partying on the weekend, perhaps because they are not really party animals in general.
- It is attractive to women because it shows great self-confidence and a willingness to take risks when approaching someone in everyday life.
So, overcome your fear of approaching people and start flirting! Here you’ll find other places to meet people if you’re still a little hesitant about walking the streets.
15 tips on how to approach women
As the saying goes: Nothing comes from nothing!
Of course, you can stay in your shell, wait, and hope that one day happiness will knock on your door. Ideally, it’ll be in the form of a hot woman who desires you.
Sounds unlikely? Yes, it is!
So at this point we can all agree to abandon the snail-shell approach and instead work together to overcome our fears and finally get down to business, okay?
How can you now approach women on the street?
My experience shows that jumping into the cold water is often more effective than endlessly pondering where exactly the blockages come from and how best to resolve them.
Of course, you can spend years lying on a therapist’s couch every Wednesday, getting hypnotized, or reading all sorts of guides, books, and blog articles on the subject of ” approaching women .”
But it’s better if you follow my 15 simple (but mega-effective) flirting tips and rules on how to approach women in everyday life:
1. Get the best out of yourself!
When you approach someone on the street, you usually decide within a few seconds whether you find them attractive or not.
Without even exchanging a word with each other.
Remember: It’s an unusual situation for a woman to be approached out of the blue by a strange man in everyday life. That’s why it’s helpful if this guy doesn’t look “weird” like a bloke, but rather radiates sympathy.
Please don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to dress up and you don’t have to look like George Clooney. But it’s important that you feel comfortable in your own skin and look well-groomed.
Here are a few simple rules about hairstyle, clothing and styling if you want to approach women on the street:
- When it comes to the mop on your head, find a good hairdresser and get a modern, type-appropriate haircut.
- A neat, well-groomed beard gives you a more masculine appearance, especially if you’re more of a baby-faced type when shaved.
- Even though yellow is a great, sunny color, it probably doesn’t suit your teeth that well 😉 A visit to the dentist will help whiten your teeth to a brilliant white, like in the toothpaste commercials.
- Care for your skin with the right products to eliminate impurities.
- Pants and shirts should be the right size and fit. Potato sacks are as out of fashion as floods where your arms and legs stick out too much.
- Less is more, especially when it comes to patterns and colors. Go for contrast: black trousers and a white shirt. Or, if you prefer a more sporty look, dark jeans with a red sweater.
- Your shoes should also look “reasonable.” Whether they’re fine leather shoes or sneakers, they need to be clean and not too worn.
- Another simple trick: Make sure your shoes and belt match. You love your brown shoes? Great! And you also like your black belt? Great! But they shouldn’t leave the house together.
If you know as much about clothes and styling as a crocodile knows about atomic physics, then there’s a solution: Ask a woman! Grab a good friend, your sister, cousin, or a salesperson at your favorite clothing store and let her advise you.
2. Jump from level to level!
You look like you’ve just stepped out of the shower? Great!
Okay, at first, you’re probably standing there in the city, wanting to approach pretty women on the street, but fear creeps up inside you and paralyzes you. Luckily, you don’t have to take the plunge and walk right up to the most beautiful woman you see and ask her out.
Feel free to approach things in small steps, at your own pace. BUT: Dare to step out of your comfort zone!
Start with easy exercises to overcome your fear of approaching someone . Ask a variety of women for directions or the time—even those who don’t fit your profile. This way, you’ll gradually become accustomed to contact with the opposite sex.
Step by step, you’ll work your way toward your goal. You can take the next step when you’re ready and have gained some confidence.
3. Follow the three-second rule!
Here’s another insider tip for you to overcome shyness and approach a woman on the street:
If you see a lady you like, talk to her IMMEDIATELY. Within the first three seconds. Why this rule? It’s simple:
Our brains are practically masters of excuses. Once we analyze the situation, we’re guaranteed to come up with a thousand reasons why we shouldn’t approach someone. I sometimes call this “analytical paralysis,” which causes us men to remain inactive at the crucial moment. Annoying!
But if we take action within three seconds, we bypass this mechanism. We don’t have time to think, make excuses, or run away.
We are authentic and seize our opportunity before it passes.
4. Wait and be in the right place at the right time!
Yes, I know, I just talked about making contact in three seconds. BUT there are exceptional situations where this principle doesn’t apply:
She’s got her phone to her ear, her dog in her arms, her shopping bags in hand, it’s raining, and she’s sprinting for the train? Sorry, but no matter how gorgeous you think she is, in such a situation, your chances of successfully approaching this woman on the street are pretty slim.
It is just as unfortunate if you approach her quietly from behind in a dark alley or while she is withdrawing money from the ATM.
You get what I’m getting at, right?
There’s a perfect time and place for everything. Wait patiently for the right situation and then grab it, Tiger!
5. Please don’t forget to smile!
It’s so simple, yet many men forget this rule because they’re so nervous when they approach a girl.
How do you think a woman will react if a guy approaches her on the street and stands there with a stony expression on his face, as if he’s just come from his grandmother’s funeral?
You know what I mean, right?
You want to make her feel good! She should feel that you’re happy to have met her.
So – don’t forget to smile when you approach her!
6. Stop the woman with the right gesture!
Approaching women on the street is of course a completely different situation than if you meet at a friend’s birthday party or in a club, for example.
In everyday life, you’re usually on the go from A to B or have to buy your stuff. And you might even be under time pressure.
This means that the woman you find interesting isn’t just standing there waiting to start a conversation.
You have to “take her out of her reality” and get her to pause for a moment so you can talk to her.
But how exactly do you stop a woman in shopping malls, pedestrian zones, etc.?
The most important rule:
You should ALWAYS approach women on the street from the front, rather than from behind or the side.
If she is running in front of or next to you, pick up the pace until you have overtaken her with a few brisk steps.
Then turn toward her and stand slightly to her side, so that you’re facing her, but she still has an escape route straight ahead to leave the conversation.
This gives her a feeling of security.
Then it’s best to say something like “Sorry, just a minute…” If she’s in a hurry, you’re directly suggesting to her that you won’t take up much of her precious time.
7. Funny pick-up lines – no thanks!
The woman is now standing in front of you, but what should you say next?
Did you find a book with 100 pick-up lines on the dusty table next to the outhouse in your uncle’s garden? Then LEAVE IT THERE!
In my experience, these funny flirting lines almost never work when approaching women on the street, unless you deliver them with a lot of irony. But if you deliver them too seriously, they can lead to extremely awkward situations.
The woman will be embarrassed at best and quickly move on if you approach her with the sentence: ” Hey baby, I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? “
If you can’t keep your hands off Uncle Herbert’s book and absolutely want to try out one of the sayings, at least do it ironically! That way you can both laugh about it afterward.
Or you can read this article to learn how to flirt properly …
8. “What do I say to her instead?”
It’s best to start with a suitable introduction like this:
“Hey, I know this sounds a little crazy, but I noticed you as you were walking past me. If I hadn’t spoken to you right then, I’d be kicking myself in anger for the rest of the day!”
She will almost certainly be totally surprised at first, because as I said – women (contrary to popular belief) are not often approached on the street.
And certainly not as charming as yours.
With a sentence like “ That sounds crazy, ” you signal to her that you are a socially competent man who understands the unusual situation.
Be careful not to use negatively connoted statements like “That might be WEIRD,” because you don’t want her to think you’re “weird!” Instead, use words like “crazy” or “extraordinary.”
It is also important that you trigger positive feelings in her by saying things like “ I just had to talk to you! ” or “ You just totally blew my mind! ”
Not only is this a damn good excuse for your unusual behavior, but you’re also flattering the woman with this compliment, and she’ll be much more willing to continue the conversation with you.
9. When you’re speechless…
Anyone who wants to approach women on the street fears this situation:
You gather all your courage and approach her. She looks at you expectantly with her sparkling doe eyes, waiting to know what you want from her… But you suddenly start stuttering and have a blackout.
That sounds like a catastrophe at first…
But wait – you can even use this situation to your advantage if you approach it correctly and openly state your problem.
How about the following sentence, for example:
“Wow. Excuse me, but you just blew me away so much that I was momentarily speechless. I’m Jonas. Who are you?”
This way, you have quickly transformed a negative situation into a positive one, because women appreciate authenticity and honesty.
10. Try to refute their objections!
Of course, when you approach a woman on the street, she might immediately object, saying why you should NOT talk to her.
After all, she doesn’t know you and will be suspicious at first. Or she might want to subject you to a shit test to see if you’re really as confident as you claim. But hey – don’t give up right away; be quick-witted!
A little challenge never hurt a man.
She says, “ I’m sorry, I have a boyfriend. “
You reply, “ I would have been very surprised if such a pretty woman was single. What’s your name? I’m Ingo! “
She says, “ I don’t have time right now. “
You say, “ I don’t have much time either, but I’d be happy to walk a bit in your direction so you’re not late. “
She says, “ Do you talk to every woman here? “
You reply, “ I’d love to, but there are just too many of you girls around! “
You see what it’s all about: Don’t let the first objection put you off, but feel free to ask again!
This way, she’ll realize that you’re a confident man and that getting to know her is important to you. Of course, this spontaneous counterattack requires a bit of practice.
If she reacts negatively again, accept her rejection and politely say goodbye, wishing her a nice day! Anything else would be intrusive and disrespectful.
11. Introduce yourself to her by name!
She smiles at you and raises no objections, or you were able to allay her concerns?
Then it’s time to introduce yourself by name.
Shake her hand and say something like: “ I’m Thomas, and you are…? ” This will create the first level of trust and physical contact with women when approaching them on the street.
You can then build on this foundation when flirting.
12. Find the perfect transition to the conversation!
Okay, you’ve gotten through the first few sentences. But what next? What should you talk to her about?
Try to stay completely relaxed here. Just imagine you haven’t just approached a woman on the street, but are chatting with a good friend you just happened to run into.
For example, you could ask something like:
- “Where are you going right now?”
- “What else do you do in your free time when you’re not flirting with strange men on the street?” (in a humorous tone!)
It’s also a good idea to include something you notice about her in your question. This could be a beautiful piece of jewelry, clothing, her shopping, or her dog on a leash.
13. Make small talk and flirt charmingly!
Do you want to know what the next steps are?
Now it’s about further strengthening the trust and attraction between you by getting to know your counterpart better through an interesting conversation .
So far, approaching the woman on the street has gone well: She’s already stopped. And even after you told her why you stopped her, she didn’t run away. So don’t be afraid to flirt!
The fact that you asked her about her leisure activities, her shoes or her pink hair probably already leads to a first little dialogue.
Other exciting, emotional topics include vacations, Netflix series, your favorite food, or the last cool party.
Listen attentively, maintain eye contact, and ask her questions. Many women enjoy being able to share something about themselves.
And if she doesn’t ask you any questions in return, don’t forget to reveal something about yourself on every single topic of conversation! This will help her get to know you better and assess what type of man you are. This builds a foundation of trust.
At the same time, you should show your humorous side and make Madame laugh . A good sense of humor always appeals to people!
14. Exchange numbers with her!
Why do we men approach women on the street? That’s right: We want their cell phone numbers so we can arrange a date later!
Does she send you positive flirting signals during the conversation , such as frequent smiling and laughing, open posture, plenty of eye contact, and communicative openness? And does she seem to enjoy your conversation?
Then, after a few minutes, you should exchange numbers . When you meet up, you can refer back to your commonality to provide a reason why she should give you her phone number.
Example:
Let’s say you discover during the conversation that you both enjoy Spanish tapas. Then you can ask her the question:
“I know a cool Spanish shop here in town. Let’s go there on Saturday! What’s your cell phone number?”
If she’s in a hurry and you haven’t had a long conversation, you can use her “Sorry, no more time!” to your advantage:
“No problem, I have to go to an appointment right away. How about we exchange numbers and continue our pleasant conversation on WhatsApp another time?”
15. Say goodbye with a hug!
Many men find it difficult to touch when approaching women on the street. But remember: the goal is to steadily increase physical contact between you.
You shook her hand to greet her and had a good conversation, even exchanging numbers? Then a quick hug goodbye is perfectly acceptable.
This reinforces her feeling that you’re already familiar with each other. This, in turn, creates positive emotions and attraction.
Of course there are exceptions:
Do you notice that the woman is very shy or still distant? Or maybe you haven’t been able to talk long enough because she’s in a hurry? Then just assess the situation and shake her hand goodbye.
A rejection is not the end of the world
As already mentioned: approaching women on the street is not a dangerous “war mission”, because in the vast majority of cases the girls react in a friendly and positive manner.
And even if they reject you, they usually do so nicely and politely.
And if you do encounter an unfriendly bitch who gives you a hard brush-off, it’s no big deal. Do you really want to get to know someone like that (let alone have her as your girlfriend)?
But maybe she was just having a bad day, who knows.
Don’t stress over their reasons. The important thing is not to take rejections to heart, but to move on. Take a playful approach to everyday life and boldly embark on the next quest. Good luck, brave warrior!
