“There is no second chance to make a first impression!” Do you know this saying?
It’s true – we humans subconsciously decide within the first few seconds whether we like the person we’re talking to or whether we’d rather just walk away.
Now you might be thinking, “Great, Andreas! Now I feel even more pressured! How is this supposed to help me with the greeting on the first date?”
But keep calm! In this article, I’ll explain to you step by step how to best approach the matter so that the woman likes you at first sight.
Why are men afraid of greeting?
Before a date, especially the first one, we men are usually pretty nervous and off track. For the simple reason that we don’t want to mess it up.
I know this from myself when I was looking for a steady girlfriend:
Whenever I had a date with a woman, I worried about all sorts of things. Most importantly, I simply didn’t know how to greet the lady appropriately:
- Is a handshake too cold?
- A “Hello” too formal?
- A hug or a kiss too intrusive?
You want to make the perfect impression right from the start and not embarrass yourself or scare or even upset your chosen one.
Especially the worst thing about flirting:
If you mess up the greeting, the date is basically over before it’s even begun. Then you sit there in awkward silence, just wanting to leave…
The dream of a relationship with this lady was then shattered.
Greeting on a date: What you should NOT do!
But don’t worry, with my years of experience in the dating industry, you’re in the right place with me.
First, I’ll give you a few tips on what the absolute “no-gos” are when it comes to greeting someone on a first date:
1. Arriving late to the meeting
Plan enough time, including traffic if necessary, to ensure you arrive at the agreed meeting point on time. While most women are happy to be a little late themselves, they don’t like it at all when we men keep them waiting.
In the worst case scenario, the date is already over before it even begins.
So be there on time (preferably a little earlier than the lady) and receive her!
This immediately gives her the impression that you are reliable and thus subconsciously strengthens her trust in you with regard to a relationship.
2. A formal handshake
Forget the formal handshake on the first date, even if you’re afraid of coming across as too pushy to the woman!
After all, you’re not at a business meeting or meeting with your stiff bank advisor. No, you’re on a date!
In most cases, greeting with a handshake comes across as too cold and distant, so you’re better off hugging the girl. Unless she’s particularly shy, but I’ll get into that in more detail in a moment.
3. Avoid physical contact at all
What’s worse than a formal handshake? That’s right: no physical contact at all. You stop a meter in front of her and say “Hello!”
Congratulations – you’ve won the award for the worst possible greeting on a first date.
No, seriously. Touch is important! And we want to get the lady used to our touch and slowly increase it over the course of the date so we can go in for the kiss at the right moment without it seeming clumsy.
In short:
If you don’t make any physical contact at all, you won’t get your sweetheart used to your closeness, so you ‘ll end up in the friend zone instead of a happy relationship.
4. Overdoing touching
The other extreme, unfortunately, isn’t much better. Let’s give an exaggerated example to illustrate what I’m talking about:
You shouldn’t greet her with a kiss on the hand like a Hollywood Casanova from a 50s romance! Picking her up and spinning her around like she’s Cinderella and you’re Prince Charming is just as bad an idea 😀
And what about kisses on the left and kisses on the right as a greeting?
Sure, some women might like it, but a gentle kiss on the cheek can easily be a bit too much. It’s best to avoid that risk!
5. Bring gifts on the date
In addition to the overly bold kisses, please also leave the bouquet of flowers, chocolates and cuddly teddies at home on the first date!
After all, you want to make a nice first impression and not be crowned the kitsch king of the year…
Gifts at the beginning of the getting-to-know-you phase also come across as rather submissive. In the worst case, the woman will get the impression that you’re only giving her something so that she’ll sleep with you in return.
The perfect greeting on a date: Here’s how
Just act “normally” and don’t make a big deal out of your meeting! Now let’s get to the tips for exactly how to greet a woman properly:
1. The right meeting place
First things first – where should you meet? Whether you go to a café, a restaurant, or even a nearby city park – don’t meet her there.
Are you wondering, “Huh? Why not? It would be much more practical!”
Very simple explanation: If you meet a few blocks away from the date location, you can walk there together after greeting each other.
This has several advantages:
- On the one hand, you can take the lead. Most women love being led by a man—whether while dating or later in a relationship. Of course, only lead subtly, please! Of course, you shouldn’t give her instructions like “TURN RIGHT!” 😀
- Furthermore, it naturally also seems caring to the woman if you pick her up at the bus stop where she gets off. It implies that you’re looking out for her and won’t let her wander the streets alone.
- Furthermore, you arrive at the chosen location as a “unit.” Competing together on the route subconsciously creates a sense of connection and togetherness.
2. Show positive body language
As you walk up to her to greet her on your date, don’t forget to smile – even if you’re so nervous that you don’t feel like laughing!
Positive body language and maintaining eye contact are crucial factors for us men when it comes to creating a positive feeling in the female counterpart.
After all, she should also notice that you’re HAPPY to see her. That you’re happy that you’re meeting! So – please smile!
3. A hug says more than words
As an ideal greeting for a first date, I recommend hugging her, just like you would with close friends, family, or a good friend. This is neither too distant nor too intrusive.
With a hug, you can build closeness from the very first moment and get her used to your touch, then gradually increase it over the course of the date.
Through this behavior, you also show the woman that you are a self-confident guy who is not afraid of physical contact with women.
This will help you make a great first impression when dating.
4. For shy women: only handshake
A few women find it difficult to be too close when greeting someone on a first date.
There are particularly shy women for whom even a brief hug (apart from a kiss on the cheek) is too much. But you’ll quickly recognize this from their body language.
Does she back away or demonstratively extend her hand when saying hello to keep you at a distance?
Such signals let you know that you are dealing with a woman who is not yet ready for physical contact and closeness.
Of course, you should accept that she doesn’t want a hug and respect her boundaries.
If you notice her defensiveness as described, don’t let it throw you off track, but switch to a handshake and act as if nothing had happened.
But make sure you have a fairly firm handshake to appear masculine…
Important:
In this situation, simply try to build more trust and try again later on in your date, for example by briefly touching her.
But always pay attention to how she reacts!
If you do it right, you can then easily hug goodbye later .
5. Compliment her!
In addition to your body language (gestures, facial expressions), verbal communication is also crucial for the right greeting on a date. The goal is to give her a positive feeling right from the start. She should feel comfortable!
A sincere compliment is a great way to break the ice and make a good impression on the lady. But beware: the emphasis here is on HONEST!
Women have very sensitive antennae. They usually notice immediately when a man is deceiving them or just spouting trite lines.
If you give her a compliment, please make it sincere, authentic and, above all, individual.
For example, if she’s wearing a beautiful necklace, or an unusual hat, or shoes that particularly catch your eye, then refer your compliment to that.
This shows that you are attentive – and women love that!
After all, she’s already put some thought into what she’s wearing and how she’s styling herself before your date. It’s usually a hit when the man notices this and gives her positive feedback.
In today’s age of Snapchat filters and the like, it’s also important to remember that women who have met a man through online dating are often unsure whether he will like them in real life.
Take this worry away from her when you greet her, and you’ll immediately have her in your good books!
6. Transition into a conversation…
Well, what happens next with the flirting?
You picked her up from the bus stop, approached her with a smile, ideally greeted her with a quick hug and told her, for example, that you think her shoes are really cool.
So far, so good. But then there’s usually another critical moment, which often leads to awkward silences.
Of course, we want to prevent that so that the woman feels comfortable and it doesn’t become “weird” in any way.
Fortunately, the transition to the conversation is quite easy for us men by making the meeting place the topic:
- “Did you find your way here okay?”
- “Really nice place here, isn’t it?”
- “My goodness Jana, what kind of weather did you bring with you?”
These short, non-binding statements or questions are a great way to start a conversation and you’re sure to have something to talk about on the way to the location .
Take a deep breath before greeting them!
You see: The right greeting on a first date is really not rocket science.
Now you have the perfect guide at hand, and nothing can go wrong. Before you meet, take a deep breath, count to ten, and then go!
Try to stay really relaxed, because what could possibly happen?
Seriously, even if you’re speechless and have nothing to talk about, she won’t rip your head off.
In an emergency, you can even use a seemingly embarrassing situation to your advantage by saying things like “ Oh man, you really took my breath away for a moment! ”
Remember:
If she didn’t see you as a serious candidate for a relationship, she would never have said “yes” to the meeting!
Keep that in mind and then just enjoy your time with her and have a great date!
Who knows, maybe she’ll even become your girlfriend… 🙂
