At the gym, you keep seeing the same lady you can’t take your eyes off. She looks incredibly hot, often trains at the same time as you, and seems to enjoy being around you. Maybe she even looks over at you and smiles while you’re working out…
In short: She is clearly your gym crush – but is she also interested in you, or are you reading too much into her behavior?
And how can you approach the woman without making her feel harassed, which could lead to a hugely awkward situation? Of course, you’d like to get to know her and go on a date with her, but you’re terrified of being rejected.
In the worst case, you would embarrass yourself in front of everyone around you…
But don’t worry! In this article, I’ll show you a way to get closer to your gym crush without your flirting attempt ending in disaster!
What is a Gym Crush? Meaning and Translation
Perhaps this is the first time you’ve heard this term and are now wondering what a gym crush is. The meaning is actually quite simple and becomes clear when you translate the words from English to German:
- Gym = fitness studio
- Crush = swarm
In the literal translation, Gym Crush means something like “gym crush ,” which sounds rather awkward and uncool.
This is a male or female person you know casually from the gym and find attractive. You have a crush on them because they immediately seem very likeable, look incredibly good, have a great body, or demonstrate impressive training performance.
Sometimes the sympathy or attraction is also increased if the person in question often looks at you, smiles or even greets you in a friendly manner.
With a gym crush, the fleeting “acquaintance” arises primarily from seeing each other regularly at the gym because of similar training schedules. It should be emphasized, however, that the relationship is (still) very superficial, and there has usually been no contact beyond glances.
So, at first, the crush is only about appearance rather than character. But that can change very quickly once you muster up the courage to approach this mysterious woman and get to know her better!
Does everyone have a gym crush? How to find one
First of all, it is completely normal for certain contacts to develop in the gym.
This is due to the favorable conditions: You see each other (almost) every week, have the same sporting interests and the other person’s well-trained body often makes you want more.
Of course, not every man has a gym crush. While everyone sees attractive women whenever they go to the gym, that doesn’t necessarily mean there’s a specific woman you regularly see while working out and to whom you feel a “magical” attraction.
My tip on how you can search for and find a gym crush in 3 easy steps:
- If your current workout habits haven’t helped you find an interesting woman, you need to change your routine. Change the days of the week and times you go to the gym more often. Try different training areas and classes to meet new people.
- While you’re working out, look around carefully (but discreetly!) to see which women you spot around you. You might even be able to make eye contact, smile at them, or briefly greet them.
- If you like someone, you’ll start working out more often on that day of the week and at that time. With a bit of luck, you’ll see each other again, as many people are creatures of habit and have set workout times. If you meet regularly and exchange glances, they could become your gym crush.
All you have to do is get over your fear and approach the woman at the gym . You’ll find out how best to do this further down in this blog post!
13 clear signs that you are her gym crush
A man who wears rose-colored glasses and is interested in a woman can be quite conceited. Reality is often replaced by wishful thinking. Therefore, you should check for clear signs to see if you’re really her gym crush:
- She “just happens” to have the same training times as you and always shows up at the gym when you are there.
- She’s constantly training near you because she “just happens” to be doing similar exercises to you. Or she’ll stand right next to you on the cross trainer, even though there are ten other machines available.
- She positions herself so that she can watch you or you can watch her while you train.
- She adjusts her hair or clothes because she is worried that she won’t look good in your presence.
- She suddenly starts training very hard as soon as she notices you’re watching her. She wants to impress you with her strength and endurance.
- During her workout, she noticeably bends forward or sticks out her chest so you can admire her toned butt or her firm breasts.
- She constantly looks over at you or even smiles at you.
- She asks you questions, such as how to set up the training equipment, or asks for your help. This could be an excuse to start a conversation with you.
- She greets you or says goodbye to you when your paths separate again.
- She compliments you on your fitness, your muscles, how much weight you can lift, etc.
- She takes off her headphones to signal that she is ready to talk and to make it easier for you to speak.
- She finishes her workout at the same time as you – hoping that you’ll see each other again for some small talk when you leave the gym.
- She will like your posts on platforms like Facebook, Instagram or TikTok if you post your sporting achievements on social media and she finds you there.
The more signs you notice, the greater the chance that you are actually her gym crush and that she likes you .
Don’t read too much into their signals!
Sometimes the signs seem clear. But don’t jump to conclusions when trying to interpret this woman’s behavior!
Maybe the only reason you two run into each other so often is because you happen to have the same training times. And their glances don’t necessarily have to be flirtatious; they could simply be aimless staring around during practice.
And even if your gym crush smiles or greets you, it’s not clear whether she’s really interested in you or is just a polite person who likes to socialize with strangers.
So, read my article on how to distinguish flirting from mere friendliness . But ultimately, you’ll only find out what she’s really thinking and feeling if you approach her and try to get to know her better!
Do women want to be approached at the gym?
Many single men think they shouldn’t approach a woman at the gym because she’s supposedly just there to work out and wants some peace and quiet. That’s not entirely true, because the gym is also a social place where people meet, exercise together, and discuss various topics, similar to a sports club.
And if your gym crush finds you interesting too, she’ll definitely be happy to hear from you. She’ll think:
“Oh, he looks nice. I hope he’s a real man who has the courage to approach me here. Unfortunately, that happens far too rarely in real life. Most guys are just too cowardly and only like me on Tinder, Instagram, or Facebook.”
Yes, these are the thoughts of most women during their workout when their Mr. Right suddenly appears next to them on the cross trainer or treadmill.
When it comes to approaching a woman at the gym, it’s not about whether, but rather how. As long as you approach a woman politely and aren’t pushy, in most cases she won’t have a problem with it or will even be enthusiastic about it.
To ensure your gym crush responds positively to your approach, you should avoid these 10 typical flirting fails:
Mistake 1: Talking while she is training
When they’re engrossed in their workout, most people don’t want to be disturbed. They’re often focused on performing the exercise correctly or too out of breath to speak properly.
Therefore, it’s best to approach your gym crush when she’s taking a short break between sets or has finished her workout on the machine.
Mistake 2: Hitting on someone with a cheeky compliment
Avoid silly pick-up lines or compliments about her looks or body! Overly direct flirting won’t go over well at the gym, unlike approaching someone on the street or flirting in a club .
There are several reasons why this usually doesn’t work in the gym:
- It can be very uncomfortable for the woman if other people around you (or her best friend with whom she works out) notice the intrusive flirting attempt.
- You don’t know if she’s even single or already has a boyfriend. Worst case scenario, it’s that nasty muscleman flexing his biceps ten meters away, listening with pricked ears.
- If she rejects you, it will be very unpleasant if you continue to run into each other every week at the gym.
So, sayings like “Hey, really hot ass!” aren’t cool. Instead, your job is to flirt very carefully and discreetly, like a special agent on a secret mission 😉
Mistake 3: Just staring and doing nothing
It also makes a bad impression if you just look at the woman and smile, but don’t dare to approach her. Your gym crush will then not only smell your sweat, but also your lack of self-confidence.
The constant stares can also seem a bit scary.
It’s even worse if you shamelessly stare at her butt in her skin-tight pants or at her perky breasts.
Mistake 4: Staying close to her all the time
This behavior is similarly cringe-worthy to the error described above:
Please don’t start constantly stalking the lady like a lion around its prey without speaking to her. That would be a bit like stalking.
Women have very fine antennae and notice when a man is constantly near them, as if the chosen one had a magnet in his pants.
It’s equally wrong to follow the crowd from one machine to the next. Don’t pretend you’re serious about working out on the leg press just because you can observe them better from there!
Mistake 5: Secretly slipping her a note
Many men also come up with the idea of getting a pen and paper from the reception and writing a little “love letter” to their gym crush, often including their phone number.
Sure, this way you remain discreet, which is good. But unlike in Hollywood movies, this kind of behavior isn’t particularly romantic in real life.
To women, this tactic will seem rather childish, similar to those love letters we used to write in school. She’ll wonder why you’re putting on such a silly show instead of approaching her directly like a normal, adult, and confident man.
Mistake 6: Acting like a big shot in front of her
Never try to force a woman to be impressed by you during your workout, for example, by increasing the speed on the treadmill or adding extra weight to the exercise machine as soon as you feel like she’s watching you.
Your counterpart will notice this and interpret it as a sign of insecurity. You’ll come across much more likeably if you remain authentic and can openly reveal your weaknesses.
Mistake 7: Asking for her number immediately
“Hey, I find you really interesting… um… can I have your cell phone number?”
Ouch, please don’t do that! Your gym crush may have smiled and greeted you before, but she still doesn’t really know you.
Why would she give her number to a complete stranger who might later turn out to be a nasty stalker? Before you can exchange numbers with her, you first need to build a certain level of trust. You achieve this by talking to her and letting her get to know you better.
By the way, it’s just as wrong not to ask for her number at all during the conversation . Because if you never see each other again after this training, you won’t be able to contact her again.
Mistake 8: Playing coach and explaining the exercises to her
You should never play the teacher and explain to the woman how to perform an exercise correctly. This (surely well-intentioned) behavior often comes across as very preachy and can easily be interpreted as “mansplaining.” Not a good way to start a flirtation!
Remember: It is the trainers’ sole responsibility to ensure that all trainees perform the exercises correctly.
Mistake 9: Starting a conversation about losing weight
“Hi, are you also here to lose that winter fat you put on at Christmas?”
Oops – please never start a conversation with your gym crush by talking about “diet” or “losing weight”!
Body size is a very sensitive topic for most women, especially if they are actually a bit overweight and are struggling with their figure.
With statements or questions like these, you’re literally putting your foot in it. Embarrassing!
By the way: In another article, I’ll tell you the best strategies for getting to know chubby women without embarrassing yourself.
Mistake 10: Buying her a protein shake
It’s also embarrassing if you hand your crush a drink as a greeting to try to suck up to her. This trick doesn’t work at the gym any better than it does at a nightclub.
Such behavior seems very submissive, similar to flowers or other gifts on a first date .
The woman might also think that you’re trying to “buy” her affection and that she owes you something in return (or at least that you expect it from her). This creates a very unpleasant pressure when you first meet someone.
Approaching your gym crush: 7 tips from “Hi” to a date
So how can you get closer to your lovely “Mrs. Sporty” without attracting attention or bothering her? With the right approach, getting closer in the gym isn’t as difficult as you might think.
Here’s my 7-step plan to maximize your chances of success when flirting at the gym:
1. See if she gives you a sign!
During your training, you should first make eye contact, smile at your crush, and see if she smiles back. This would be a sign that she likes you, at least visually, and is open to contact.
Just so there are no misunderstandings:
A smile from her is a “door opener” that makes many things easier. But if she doesn’t send you any signals, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t approach her at all!
In such a case, you should still approach her and try to start a conversation. Don’t make the mistake of procrastinating forever, hoping she’ll give you a friendly sign at some point. If she finishes her training and disappears again, you’ve missed your (once in a lifetime?) opportunity.
Even though she’s your gym crush and probably works out at the same time as you more often than not, you never know if you’ll ever see her again. Every random encounter between you could be your last if she changes her workout times or gym, for example.
2. Approach her with confidence!
To make a good impression right from the start, you should approach the woman with positive and confident body language. This includes:
- an upright posture
- Eye contact and smile
- Chest out
- Do not put your hands in your pockets
- run purposefully, without anxious hesitation or hesitation
Avoid appearing too insecure or shy. Attractive girls, in particular, expect you to approach them confidently and literally “at eye level”!
3. Be brave and talk to your gym crush!
Maybe you’re still terrified of beautiful women . But at some point, you have to overcome your shyness and approach your gym crush.
How do you achieve this? First, you need the right mindset!
Remember that most women respond positively to polite contact and won’t give you a crushing rejection. In my experience, irritated or annoyed looks are also rare. Such fears are usually unfounded.
That means: The lady probably won’t throw a five-kilo dumbbell at you like the enraged Hulk—especially if she’s already given you a friendly smile. An embarrassed, mumbled “Thanks, but I already have a boyfriend” is just about the worst thing that can happen to you in this situation.
And even if you get a painful rejection, at least you tried and can be proud of yourself. You’ll only get frustrated if you don’t dare to try anything and miss a great opportunity.
Option A: Ask a question about the studio or training!
New members, in particular, always have a lot of questions about the studio, the services offered, the correct execution of exercises, etc. Come up with something good and, if necessary, act stupid about a relevant topic!
Here are a few ideas for questions you can ask your gym crush:
- “Hey, can you briefly explain to me how to set up the training device correctly / how to do the exercise on it? I’m using it for the first time today…” (only say this if it’s true!)
- “Is the sauna included in the basic tariff / contract XY, or do I have to pay extra for it?”
- “Have you ever taken a group class like this for yoga/Zumba/aerobics/Pilates, etc.? Can you recommend it? Is it also for men?”
- “That’s a really cool song playing right now. It’s really motivating me during my workout. Do you happen to know what song that is?”
- “Have you tried the food or drinks from the bar here? Can you recommend any of them?”
- “Have you ever consulted a trainer and had a training plan drawn up for you? What are the staff like here?”
Option B: Address the situation between you!
Especially if you’ve already smiled lovingly at the woman before, she’ll know that you want to flirt with her and get to know her better. Your gym crush might then suspect that the questions mentioned above are just a cheap excuse to start a conversation.
That’s why it’s sometimes better to address the situation between you openly and honestly. However, you should only use the following sentences when you’re both out of earshot (!) of other people to avoid awkwardness:
- “Hey, you seem to train at the same time as me more often than not; we’re almost like training partners. So I thought I’d just say hi. I’m Carsten, and what’s your name?”
- “You always look over at me so curiously… I guess I should break the ice and say hello.”
- “Oh, you’re training here at the same time as me again… Are you stalking me?” (Please say this in a humorous tone and with a big grin so the woman knows you’re only joking!)
Then you shake her hand in greeting, which means you have already made the first physical contact.
4. Find the transition to small talk with her!
Many men don’t know what to say next after greeting their gym crush or getting an answer to the opening question (see above). The big fear is that a super awkward silence will immediately follow, right?
But you don’t need to be afraid of that! It’s very easy to transition to a suitable topic of conversation.
Start small talk about obvious topics that concern sports enthusiasts like you!
By this I mean topics such as training, equipment, nutrition, health, muscle building and the like:
- “You seem to know a lot about the equipment, thanks for the explanation! You seem to have been going to the gym for a long time, right?”
- “What is your training goal? Improve your fitness, build muscle, etc.?”
- “Do you have any good nutrition tips? You women usually know more about it than we guys.”
- “Wow, you’re really motivated. If this keeps up, you’ll soon be awarded a medal… as the nerd of the month :-)” (say it humorously!)
Always pay attention to whether she responds positively to your attempt at small talk and is interested in talking with you. Knowing female flirting signals will also help you with this .
If you notice that she’s only responding out of politeness and wants to get rid of you as quickly as possible, it’s best to leave her alone. Then simply wish her good luck with her workout and continue your own workout.
5. Steer your conversation towards other topics!
Since you’re in the middle of training and probably only taking a short break between sets, there isn’t much time to talk. Nevertheless, after a few minutes, you should shift the conversation to personal topics so you can at least get to know each other a little better.
For example, you can ask your Gym Crush:
- “You’re probably a student/working if you always go to the gym at this time, right? What are you studying/doing for a living? Let me guess: You’re probably working somewhere in the natural sciences ;-)”
- “Do you also like listening to music like the one played here in your private life?”
- “What else do you do in your free time when you’re not training here?”
You can also start flirting . That means:
Don’t just be serious, but tease the woman playfully (without insulting her!) and make her laugh . During this step, also pay attention to her signals to determine whether she’s responding to your flirting or whether she’s uncomfortable with the whole thing.
6. Get her cell phone number and arrange a date!
Don’t make the mistake of keeping your partner from their workout forever. From the moment you approach her to the moment you say goodbye, you should only spend five to ten minutes talking to her, since you both want to continue training.
Nevertheless, you shouldn’t let the fish off the hook so easily 😉
Suggest meeting up right after your workout (in 45 minutes, for example) to grab a protein shake or coffee at the bar. If she seems very open and confident, you could also suggest leaving the gym together and sitting in a café, sort of like a first date.
Share cell phone numbers with your gym crush. This way, you can quickly text each other on WhatsApp once you’re done with your workout.
If the woman doesn’t have time to have another drink with you, it’s best to get her cell phone number anyway and arrange a date for a later time. After all, what’s the weekend for?
7. If she’s not ready for a date…
If all of this is happening too quickly for your crush, there’s still the option of arranging to meet up for the next training session together.
But even in that case, I recommend exchanging phone numbers with the lady before you say goodbye . This way, you can text each other on WhatsApp if something comes up and one of you has to cancel the appointment.
Don’t make the mistake of making a no-strings-attached appointment with the señorita for your next workout WITHOUT asking for her number!
As mentioned, even though she might be regularly at the gym, you don’t know if you’ll ever see her again. There’s always the risk of losing contact completely.
You should also make sure to avoid the friend zone . You don’t just want to become her buddy training partner, but you also want to use the exercise mat for completely different “exercises” soon – at home in the bedroom, of course 😉
Gym crush despite being in a relationship – is that okay?
Committed men sometimes feel guilty about having a gym crush despite being in a relationship. Is this okay, or should you stay away from this charming woman at the gym?
In principle, there’s nothing wrong with contact, as long as you’re simply training partners, maintain a friendly relationship, and don’t cross certain boundaries. This means: Looking at each other, smiling, and talking nicely is, of course, allowed.
If you follow these rules, your partner will have no reason to be jealous.
However, if your new training partner develops sexual interest in you and wants more than just friendship, you need to have a clarifying conversation with her. Tell her that you’re already in a happy relationship and that you can only be friends.
Things get really tricky when you also develop feelings for your gym crush or even fall in love with this good-looking woman.
Before you allow yourself to be tempted to cheat, you should first clear the air and come clean. Ask yourself two things:
- Do you truly feel infatuation or love for the fitness girl, or is it just a little crush because she’s sexy and likeable? It’s not worth risking a functioning relationship for such emotional whims.
- Are you still happy in your relationship? Or is there something very important missing from your girlfriend that your gym crush might be able to provide? There must be a reason why she awakens this desire in you.
If your relationship can no longer be repaired, the only option is to break up. Perhaps the lady from the gym is the person you’re better off with—whether just for a little sex or even for a serious relationship.
