Maybe you have your eye on a particular girl and don’t know how to approach her emotionally and physically. Or maybe you, as a man, feel fundamentally alone and would like to find and conquer the perfect dream partner…
In any case, as you browse the internet, you might be asking yourself:
What is the secret to seducing a woman – for sex or even for a committed relationship?
This very question also gave me sleepless nights when I was younger.
Because back then I was extremely unsuccessful with the opposite sex, was constantly rejected and lived a sad existence as a permanent single .
I asked myself desperately:
- Why do some party animals and show-offs exert a (seemingly) magical attraction that women can hardly resist?
- And why do these Casanovas seem to have three partners on each of their eleven fingers (especially on the eleventh!) – while other men only get rejected and end up in the friend zone as “good friends”?
As a flirting coach, I have long since revealed the secret of seducing women and debunked many misleading myths.
The extremely reassuring news for you and your success:
You are not born a Casanova, and flirting is not some inscrutable witchcraft that requires you to study at Hogwarts.
This means that ANY normal, average man can quickly learn how to flirt and win over a woman with a few simple rules of conduct.
How exactly this works in practice? Find out now…
Seducing women: These 13 tips will help!
Let’s start literally “with Adam and Eve.”
A woman always decides for or against you EMOTIONALLY, and never rationally.
After all, this is about love, not about choosing the right building society contract, right?
Basically, seduction means that you have to awaken sexual desire in the woman – a feeling of attraction and infatuation that goes far beyond friendly sympathy.
Only when you ignite that passionate fire/belly flutters/whatever in her will she become curious about you, miss you longingly and want to get to know you better on a date.
And only through this “motor” of sexual attraction will she be ready to approach you physically, leading to sex and a possible relationship.
The term “seduction” also contains the word “leadership” or “leading”.
This gives you another important rule:
As a man, you can’t be passive when flirting; you have to take the offensive. You have to take the helm and “lead” the woman.
This means that you always take the initiative and continue to drive the process of getting to know each other and getting closer.
Let her feel that you are interested in her and want her – not just as a “good friend”, but on a sexual level for a passionate relationship.
You can achieve all this with the following 13 seduction tips:
1. Immediately approach the woman to speak
First of all, it’s about seeking contact with the female sex in the first place. Logically.
Whether at a party or while shopping downtown: If you see a pretty girl you want to win over, don’t spend hours stalking her like a tiger around its prey!
As a result, you will become more and more blocked internally due to the paralyzing fear of approaching someone , and your “target object” will notice your insecurity and be turned off.
The game of seduction is then lost before it has even really begun.
2. Top styling and good fragrance
Although seducing women is mainly done through your masculine behavior – but what use are the most beautiful words and touches if you smell like a boar?
So always make sure you look well-groomed and clean from head to toe!
A good perfume is the icing on the cake because it stimulates the female senses and can make her crazy about you (assuming the rest of you is right).
Since love is also a matter of taste, you can also score points with your clothing – especially when you first meet someone.
Are you “fashion dyslexic” and have no idea how to dress perfectly?
Find out how to get the right outfit for your first date !
3. Irony, humor and teasing (instead of “fact talk”)
Whether at the very beginning when approaching someone or when meeting someone: Most men have what I call a “fact fetish” when it comes to conquering someone.
This means that when these men first meet, they only have matter-of-fact conversations about their jobs, hobbies, and other things. It’s boring question-and-answer games with pure facts.
You can have this kind of serious small talk with work colleagues, great-aunts, or your bank advisor…
…but a hot, tingling flirtation does not arise from this mere exchange of information.
So, if you want to successfully seduce a woman, you have to show your humor and make her laugh . That’s just the way the game works!
You can achieve this through ironic and teasing remarks in various ways:
- Slightly provocative questions: “Do you like good food or are you one of those women who just sucks listlessly on a lettuce leaf?”
- Funny answers: “What hobbies do I have? I sort paper clips by color and am currently building my first atom bomb…and to ease my conscience, I also save kittens from drowning!”
- Cheeky statements: “The fact that you play handball definitely gives you bonus points…now you’re already at grade 4 plus!”
- Give nicknames: “Hey, you have interesting curls, should I call you Goldilocks or Marilyn (like Marilyn Monroe)?”
- Slip into “roles”: “Good morning, Miss Moneypenny, this is James Bond. Shall we go villain-hunting tonight? Afterwards, we’ll have a martini as a reward—shaken, not stirred, of course!”
Humorous teasing is a particularly powerful technique in seduction, because Grandma was right with her saying: “Those who tease each other love each other!”
But always grin a little playfully so that she really takes your comment as a joke and doesn’t take it the wrong way!
You should also be prepared for some shit tests from them that you will have to pass in order to reach the next level.
4. Don’t spend forever texting on WhatsApp
What I just said about conversations in “real life” also applies to your text communication:
Instead of just exchanging serious messages with pure facts, you should flirt with the woman properly on WhatsApp to further build sexual attraction and thus increase your chances of meeting her.
But don’t make the mistake of endlessly texting back and forth on WhatsApp like most men do. Instead, seize the right moment to ask her out and win her over!
Pure writing is simply too impersonal in the long run, because only when she’s standing in front of you “live and in color” can you truly seduce this woman. Logical, right?
It can also happen that if you keep writing to her, she will eventually lose interest because her emotions for you will cool down again.
At the latest when another interesting man suddenly appears in her life, you are history for her…
5. Show male confidence
It’s no secret: women are attracted to men who exude a sense of self-confidence. Guys who have that “certain something” that makes women’s hearts race.
If you want to seduce a woman, you absolutely have to demonstrate masculinity. This includes, for example:
- Dominance: Despite all the female emancipation, girls love self-confident alpha men who set the tone and (literally) “show them how it’s done” on a date.
- Clear opinion: Don’t be a submissive “yes-and-amen” just because you want to please the woman. Always express your opinion openly and honestly, even if it contradicts her and offends her. This also shows self-confidence!
- Goals in life: People who live aimlessly from day to day like Donald Duck come across as anything but attractive. Find a mission that you’ll wake up and fight for every morning.
- Adventurous spirit: Just sitting at home watching Netflix or playing computer games? “What a bore!” she thinks disappointedly. So find exciting hobbies and travel! Then you’ll experience amazing things and have interesting stories to tell on your date.
- Protective instinct: Women, as the “weaker sex,” are instinctively attracted to men who can protect them. This gives them a good feeling of security… So, show typical protective gestures! For example, take her hand when you walk through dark city streets at night or accompany her safely home at the end of your date.
Yes, I know, developing an attractive masculinity is a complex topic. Here you’ll find more articles about what women want and what they like in men .
6. Play with attention and distance
It is the biggest mistake when it comes to seducing women: Most men believe that they always have to play the nice and courteous “gentleman” in order to win over their beloved.
Therefore, these “nice guys” bombard the woman with slimy WhatsApp messages, give her expensive gifts on dates and sit on her sofa for hours listening to her problems.
These guys think:
“ If I give her as much attention as possible and prove that I am a good and loyal man with a noble character, she will fall in love with me over time! ”
But that’s not how flirting works, you urgently need to learn that now.
Anyone who writes a thousand WhatsApp messages a day and always comes trudging along on command like a good lapdog quickly becomes boring.
Constantly playing the role of listener and helper also shows a strong submissiveness, which is also not crowned with success.
Therefore, if you want to seduce this woman, you would do well to withdraw your attention from her from time to time.
Make yourself scarce – become their star!
This means for your contact:
Do NOT contact her every day, do NOT reply to every message immediately, and do NOT show up at her apartment door three minutes later to lug her moving boxes!
As a good seducer, dive down for a while, as if you were the Titanic itself.
She will be delighted to discover:
” Oh wow, he doesn’t chase after me and base his whole life around me like all those other submissive guys. He has a strong, independent personality! “
This will make her find you much more interesting – and start to miss you.
7. Attractive body language and looks
Your body language is also part of a masculine, confident appearance. Never walk around like a crouched squirrel, as this conveys fear, smallness, and discouragement.
So, comrade, stand up straight and stick out your chest, please (but without coming across as forced and silly)!
Then you put on a smile that makes women’s hearts melt like butter…
Another key to successfully seducing women is the look.
If you look deep into her eyes on a date and maintain eye contact, you not only show courage, but you also automatically create a deeper connection between you.
It is not for nothing that it is said that the eyes are “the window to the soul”, even in love!
In the right situation, you can cast a hypnotic spell on the woman with your gaze, almost like the snake Kaa in “The Jungle Book” 🙂
Such erotic tension between you – this is often the magical moment when conquering someone, just before you can start the kiss!
8. Give her sexual compliments
How can you ignite the fire of desire in your lady love if you yourself have a (symbolic) knot in your “best piece” and are at war with your male needs?
So be open about your sexuality as a man instead of suppressing it in shame if you want to seduce this woman!
For your lived masculinity, this means that you clearly signal to her that you want to be her lover – and not just her “good buddy” to watch football with.
You can achieve this, for example, through sexual compliments (please without being suggestive!).
Say to her in a calm voice while looking deep into her eyes:
- “Wow, you look incredibly sexy in that dress today!”
- “Aren’t you ashamed of driving me crazy with your outfit?” (ironically grinning)
With such compliments you show her clearly that you see her with her erotic charms as a potential partner and not just as a platonic friend .
9. Create a basis of trust
So far, the tips in this article have been more about how you, as a man, can create sexual attraction in a woman so that she is attracted to you…and her mouth starts to water just thinking about you (and not only that 😀 )
A successful seduction leading to sex also requires trust, at the latest on the second or third date , when she is supposed to come to your home.
This is particularly important for the so-called “weaker sex,” as women are physically inferior to men and need the security that the potential partner poses no danger when dating.
So how do you gain this woman’s trust when flirting in order to win her over?
- First, you should present yourself as a reliable man. Always keep your agreements and show up on time for your date.
- Also, let her know that you live in a socially “orderly environment,” meaning you don’t take drugs, have a solid job, and only come into contact with crime during a crime show on Netflix.
- Always be honest with her and don’t tell her lies – even small white lies will eventually be discovered and burst your trust like a soap bubble.
- Above all, you should tell many personal stories from your life (family, friends, hobbies, etc.) so that the woman gets to know you intensively and knows what kind of man you really are.
If you can find a lot of similarities between you, it will also create a strong connection between you, making it easier for you to seduce the woman.
It is especially effective if you confide in her a (positive-sounding) secret that not many people know about you.
This is a special sign of trust on your part, which will lead to her trusting you more in return!
10. Romantic atmosphere on the date
If you’re chatting in the train station toilet in the city, where hectic crowds rush past you, it’s obviously not going to create a romantic atmosphere.
Don’t get me wrong: It’s certainly a good idea to meet in a busy place on the first date so that the woman feels safe.
In order to get closer to each other in terms of love without being disturbed, you should take your girl somewhere quieter in the next step.
Suitable date ideas could include a cozy bar, provided you have a secluded corner to yourself. Or an idyllic park where you can relax on a bench.
If the right atmosphere is created, the woman can also feel comfortable and get into the right mood. This creates the desired erotic spark that you desperately need for successful seduction.
The ideal, of course, is to go home for a good glass of red wine and Netflix (* wink *) . Because you’ll bond best on the cozy sofa under a blanket…and the bedroom isn’t far away either 🙂
11. Bring up emotional topics on a date
If you want to seduce women, you have to leave the factual level of conversation and talk about feelings.
And no, I don’t mean anxious conversations like you would have with a therapist, where you pour your heart out for hours and talk about problems like your ex-girlfriend or your messed-up childhood.
Such negative topics spoil the mood – or make you appear like a fawn in need of protection (which doesn’t come across as masculine, but rather awakens “maternal feelings” in the woman and catapults you into her friend zone).
Instead of making this mistake, you should talk about POSITIVE things to win her over.
Good topics of conversation for a date are, for example, the last Christmas or the last beach holiday when you shuffled barefoot through the hot sand and later admired that beautiful sunset.
Describe the beautiful scene to her in detail, “paint” a picture in her head!
Since women have fine “antennae” and are very emotionally receptive, such positive, vivid descriptions quickly become contagious.
She will most likely start raving about her wonderful time on holiday and associate that pleasant feeling in her stomach with you!
12. Divert the conversation to sexual topics
Let’s talk about sex, baby…
At some point, however, you should also discreetly(!) bring up sexual topics. This way, you can really heat up the fiery spark in your conversation and seduce the woman.
But don’t do it in a clumsy way, but rather proceed skillfully, with the finest “kid gloves”, so to speak.
If you’re joking around and the mood is good, you can say something like this with a smile at the right moment:
- “Hey, by the way: I recently read in a magazine at the hairdresser’s that one in three women has faked an orgasm/has cheated on her partner, etc. Do you think that statistic is realistic? And why do you women do that?”
- “What would you do if you could be a man for a day?” (common answer: “Pee standing up!”)
This is a wonderful introduction for you as a seducer to successfully talk about the topic of sex and, at the same time, to stimulate her naughty imagination!
13. Establish and increase physical contact
Most men are completely fixated on what to SAY to a woman in order to keep the conversation going and win her over through wild flirting.
In doing so, they almost forget the most important thing for flirting success: seeking touch!
No matter how humorous, impressive and quick-witted you are, you will never be able to seduce a woman with words alone.
Only physical contact in love ensures that you successfully overcome the friend zone, reduce distance and get closer to the person you love, even to the point of kissing and sex.
The physical approach that many men are afraid of is not that difficult:
- You can touch your chosen one as a greeting on the date , with a warm hug.
- During the conversation, you should briefly touch her shoulder or upper arm every now and then.
- You can then increase this physical contact over the course of the date.
- For example, take her hand because you want to take a closer look at her beautifully painted nails…or check if she has the right fingers to learn the piano (good excuse!).
- Or later, while walking in the park, briefly stroke her forehead or temple because she (supposedly) has some flowers hanging there that have fallen from a tree.
Always observe her body language to see if she really likes your physical approach! If she reacts negatively, slow down a bit and slow down.
If you build up touch in this way, she’ll eventually be ready to kiss you. Because it will be the final “logical” step in the seduction, and it will feel completely natural to her!
