You’ve met this bombshell of a woman. You feel completely attracted to her and want to spend as much time with her as possible. Because you absolutely can’t get enough of her.
But then she stands you up for the second time.
You’re pretty disappointed until she contacts you again. She tells you how much she wants to get to know you better.
But then suddenly radio silence again.
You start to wonder: What’s it like when a woman plays with a man? Is she just playing with me? What should I do now?
Maybe you are already a little bit in love and want to be with her, which is why her behavior hurts you even more.
I would like to explain to you the signs that she is not serious about you and the reasons for this.
I can also give you tips on how to respond to such behavior.
Test: What are the signs that she’s just playing with me?
Let’s first answer the following question: How do I even know she’s just playing games? I have the answers you’re looking for.
I understand that you want to know where you stand with her. To support you in this difficult situation and help you figure out if she’s just playing with you, I have a test for you.
Take the signs below, review them, and ask yourself how many of them apply to the woman you’re dating. The more signals you notice, the higher the likelihood that she’s just playing with you:
1. She doesn’t want to meet in public
A clear indication that she is not being honest with you is that she never wants to meet in places where other people are present.
This means that you’ll mostly meet at her and your homes. The reason for this is that she probably doesn’t want acquaintances or friends to see her with you.
Women who aren’t serious about their affairs often like to keep their affairs secret. If you’re just her dirty little secret, you shouldn’t hold out much hope for a serious relationship with her.
2. She never introduces you to her friends or family
A big step in dating is introducing your potential partner to your friends or even family.
Typically, we don’t do this with every person we date, but only if we can imagine a relationship with them. Conversely, this means: If we don’t, we know this date will just be short-lived fun.
When a woman is playing with a man, she’s usually not interested in introducing him to her friends or family. If you haven’t met them even after months of dating, this is a clear sign.
3. She never speaks of “we”
You talk about the future, but she never mentions you? She has big plans, but she’s making them all without you?
Women love to think about a relationship and their shared future early on in their relationship. They often don’t bring it up so as not to scare a man away or put him under pressure.
However, after weeks of dating, she should at least make hints in that direction if she wants a committed relationship with you at some point. However, if she only talks about her future and not a future together, that’s usually not a good sign.
4. She contacts you irregularly
She writes to you a lot and is interested, but then there is radio silence for days?
She says she’ll call you today, but doesn’t?
Then she obviously has no interest in hearing from you regularly or having much to do with you.
When dating is going well, you become very interested in the other person and automatically feel the need to keep in touch regularly.
If she only does this occasionally and responds to your messages sporadically, we have another clue.
It could also be that she’s interested but wants to test whether you’re responding needily. If she rarely contacts you or doesn’t contact you at all, you can follow my tips from another blog post.
5. She doesn’t want to talk about serious topics
While the dating phase is usually casual and lighthearted at first, there comes a point where the man and woman start talking about more serious topics and issues. Be it the future, the meaning of life, negative experiences, fears, and the like.
This allows us to truly get to know a person. At the same time, we also make ourselves somewhat vulnerable because we open up completely to another person and may even reveal our vulnerabilities.
If we are very interested in the other person or even in love , we take this risk because, in the best case scenario, we can build an even stronger bond with him or her.
However, this isn’t the case when a woman is playing with a man. Knowing that she has no serious intentions with you and just wants to have fun, she will never open up to you and will avoid any serious topics.
6. She always behaves differently
Another indication that a woman is playing with a man is contradictory behavior.
This means that there are phases in which she acts very affectionate and flirts a lot, but the next moment she distances herself and signals disinterest.
Or you make a date and she pretends to be really excited about meeting up, only to cancel the date at the last minute . Sometimes you feel like you don’t really know her at all.
7. You always invest more than them
When getting to know each other well, there is always a balance between what you invest in a woman and what she invests in you.
You text her constantly, but she hardly ever texts you? She always asks if you’ll come over, but she never comes? You give her gifts and compliments, but she doesn’t respond? Then you know she’s just playing games.
8. She constantly asks you for favors
When a woman plays with a man, it’s not uncommon for her to also exploit him. She’ll constantly ask you for favors or help.
Be it picking them up from somewhere, carrying furniture into their apartment, getting their PC back in working order, or running an errand for them.
The problem is that many men feel needed by a woman at that moment. They interpret this as a sign of affection and think they can keep her around.
However, this is a complete fallacy, because taking advantage of someone is never a form of affection, but rather a signal that she is just playing with you and that you are in the friend zone .
9. She has many admirers
If she has many men lusting after her, this can also be an indication that a woman is playing with a man. A woman with many admirers knows that she’s popular and has plenty of choice.
If she particularly enjoys that, she has no desire to commit to anything. After all, being single will attract more men’s attention.
If you notice that she’s particularly into the role of the desirable woman and doesn’t want to give it up at any price, it’s quite possible that her intentions are misguided. It could even be that you’re just one of many, and she’s flirting with other men specifically to make you jealous.
10. She only had short relationships
A woman who doesn’t have serious intentions often has difficulty making a commitment.
The result: She’s had many relationships, but always short-term or as flings. She’s used to playing games to get men’s attention, while at the same time not having any serious intentions.
11. She’s a drama queen
Women who only play often have to deal with emotional issues resulting from negative experiences in the past.
They have so many problems of their own that they should take care of first, but they don’t.
This creates a general dissatisfaction among them, which they compensate for by making a drama out of everything.
The consequences: Negative comments or the desire for pity are the order of the day.
Women of this type are difficult, and you should never think that you can help her in any way to overcome these problems.
A woman can only do this alone. If you’re a part of it, it will only plunge you into misery, and the games will never end.
Understanding women’s games: 5 reasons
Of course, you’ll also wonder why a woman plays with a man. In most cases, it doesn’t even have anything to do with you; it’s the woman herself. Here are the reasons for her behavior:
1. She takes advantage of you
Even though this is rather the exception, there are some women who deliberately aim to exploit a man to their advantage.
They don’t want to enter into a committed relationship, but they don’t want to miss out on the benefits of being with a man. Most of the time, their feelings are based solely on friendship , which they never mention, just to keep you waiting.
2. She has another guy
It’s also possible that if a woman is playing with a man, she has several irons in the fire. That is, there are other men vying for her attention. It’s quite clear that she’s not giving you her full attention, and you’ll feel it.
You’ll quickly become just an option for her to keep her warm in case things don’t work out with the other guy.
Or she already has a boyfriend and is just flirting with you to test her dating potential. Girls in long-term relationships, in particular, sometimes do this to get ego validation.
3. She is afraid of a committed relationship
Just as men can suffer from fear of commitment , women can too.
They avoid committing completely to a man or even developing feelings for him.
That’s why they always keep you at a distance and prefer to play games with you.
This is often due to a lack of self-confidence.
People with commitment anxiety always prefer an affair with casual sex or friends with benefits .
4. She is unsure about you
Inconsistent behavior can be a sign that she is not yet sure about her affection for you.
If that’s the case, a woman quickly doesn’t realize she’s stringing a man along and playing with his feelings. Whether that changes will become clear over time. If she stays in her game, you shouldn’t try to persuade her any further.
5. She wants to test you
Women like to subject men to so-called shit tests when flirting and dating . This means they test their behavior in certain situations. For example, they want to see how needy you are or whether you’re even chasing after your beloved even though she appears disinterested.
The reason behind this is that she either just wants confirmation that you are already completely in love with her or she wants to test your qualities as a suitable man for her.
However, if she overdoes these tests and doesn’t give you a chance to get to know each other better, she probably has less serious intentions.
Now I have some top tips for you on how to deal with said lady:
She’s playing with me: This is what you should do now
If a woman has no serious intentions and is just playing games, she’s playing with fire—and ultimately, you’ll only get burned. My advice at this point is to stay away from such women.
If you don’t do this, the rollercoaster of emotions will never end for you, but will probably end in heartbreak and have dire consequences.
When a woman plays with a man, she knows how the game works. And how to make men practically eat out of her hand.
If you’re already in love, you’re particularly susceptible to manipulative behavior and rarely think rationally. You’d do anything to get her or change her.
And you completely lose yourself, your pride, and your dignity in the process. You’re left an emotional wreck when she finally breaks off contact completely.
Ask yourself if you really want to continue putting yourself through this, because it’s questionable whether she’ll ever return your love. Or if it might be better to focus on other women.
I know this is harsh, but you should choose for your own well-being. With this kind of behavior, she’s not the right woman for you anyway and won’t be able to make you happy.
By the way: In another article I give you tips on how to deal with heartbreak when you are unhappily in love with a woman .
She plays bait and wait: Now do this
It is still common for many girls to think that they have the best chance with a man if they play the hard-to-get game .
In itself, this makes a woman more interesting, that’s true. But many women completely overdo it with the stalling tactics. The result: The man no longer gets a clue where he’s at. Or he thinks she’s simply uninterested and just trying to mislead him.
If the test above has shown you that she’s playing games, but only to make herself scarce, you now need to turn the tables. Wondering how? I’ll tell you with these tips:
Take control of the game
An important rule is: If the woman makes herself scarce , you should do the same instead of running after her even more.
To turn the game to your advantage, you must also use the most effective skill of the seducer, which is: tease the woman.
With the teasing tactic, you kill two birds with one stone:
Firstly, women feel magically attracted to a man through playful flirting.
This means that as her desire for you grows, it becomes more difficult for her to maintain her hard-to-get game.
A man who behaves teasingly symbolizes self-confidence and quick-wittedness, which women love.
Secondly, instead of making the mistake that many men do when a woman plays with a man, of giving her even more attention and affection, you don’t do exactly that.
Counter their play with your way of playing and let them feel that you simply do not take them seriously with such behavior.
I can tell you from experience that this strategy works incredibly well with women who want to make themselves scarce and ultimately puts you in the position of holding the cards yourself.
How to tease her successfully – 4 examples
To show you exactly what playful flirting with her can look like, I’ve got a few examples for you here. Here’s what you can say or write to her in problematic situations:
1. She stops answering
You can answer: “Well, even my grandma answers faster than you.”
2. She stands you up
You can say this to her: “And I thought you were an adventurous woman!”
Or:
“What a shame, but then my best friend would definitely be happy about an invitation to dinner.”
3. She wants to take things slow.
You can respond: “Well, I haven’t thought about marriage yet. How about we get to know each other properly first.”
4. She keeps her distance.
You can say this to her: ” It’s really sweet when you act hard to get.
Or :
“Sometimes you really remind me of my first teenage crush. She was sweet, but she never really knew what she wanted.
If you follow these top tips, she’ll quickly realize that her hard-to-get game won’t get her very far with you. Also, pay attention to things that signal interest in you. If these become more and more frequent, the trick has worked.
